You’re spoiling him! I heard this so many times since my son was born.
I do practice what we call attachment parenting. I don’t think it should have a name since it’s simply following your instinct. However, we deviated so much from what’s natural that we now have a name for it. It’s difficult to practice in our society because we live in an illusion of what makes us happy. We think we can be great moms, have a great career, social life and marital life. We tell mothers not to hold their baby too much or let them get too used to the breasts, to create independence and comfort with strangers by putting them in daycare, to let them cry themselves to sleep at night. We don’t allow mothers be mothers anymore. We have this fear that our children will end up controlling us.
I prefer to parent differently. I am not worried that my child will end up controlling me. Children don’t want to be in charge, they would actually be scared if they felt in charge. So, I might seem permissive or careless to most people. I don’t yell when my son makes a mess, I don’t scream when he screams, I let him explore anything he wants unless it’s unsafe and I hold him whenever he needs me to. The truth is it’s not that easy. Some days are harder than others. I constantly remind myself to look at the world through his eyes. It requires a lot of effort and patience but it’s worth it because he deserves it. My goal isn’t to show him who’s boss but to give him an opportunity to be a child, discover himself and the world.
This post is an introductory to a series of posts related to attachment parenting. I will be discussing topics such as babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and natural birth. I will express a point of view based on my parenting experience. Although I have only been a mother for a short period of time, I am surprised by the kind of mother I am. I believe I had this in me since I was very young. I remember repeatedly telling myself that my goal is to create a warm, secure and happy household for my family. This desire was hidden inside me for so long and now I am letting it all out. So even if my experience is limited, I still have a lot to offer. I listen to my feminine intuition without allowing mainstream media and society tell me who I should be. I want to inspire other women to do the same. When you listen to your inner voice, you will shine and you will succeed.
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